It's about to get a whole lot harder . . .
Age: 75.
Appearance: Scary, and about to get more so.
Just 75? But cars have been around for thousands of years! Could absolutely anyone get behind the wheel until whatever 2010 minus 75 is? Actually, most non-idiots date the car to the 1880s, when Karl Benz built his first Motorwagen. Britain brought in licences in 1903, but drivers only had to pay a five-shilling fee. That's 25p in new money, before you ask. The test didn't become compulsory until 1935.
It's ages since I took mine. Or, you know, paid someone to take it for me. What does it involve? There's a theory part, where you sit at a computer answering multiple-choice questions and identifying hazards, and a practical part, where you get in a car with a terrified civil servant and prove you can drive around a bit without crashing.
Why are we talking about the test now? Is it getting easier, like every other exam? That's a shameful slur on all those A1 students from Surrey who appear in the papers when the A-level results come out. And to get back to your question . . .
Which I've forgotten. The driving test is, in fact, going to get harder, with the practical section assessing "independent thinking". Learners will have to drive to a spot 10 minutes away, either by remembering directions or following signs. Examiners will also concentrate on "safety-critical" areas, such as turning across oncoming traffic.
How difficult can it be to follow a few directions? Especially if you put your foot down so you don't have time to forget them? Almost impossible, apparently. When the Driving Standards Agency tested the new system, the success rate fell from 42% to 18%. Learners said the new test was "effortful, mentally demanding and frustrating".
Ah, diddums. And is anyone who already has their licence really likely to feel sorry for them? Pass.
Do say: "Of course I can find my way to the town centre."
Don't say: "I'm just going to follow that bus."