Celebrity Come Dine With Me | Victorian Pharmacy | Shanghai Tales | Undercover Boss | Southland | iTunes Festival
Celebrity Come Dine With Me
8pm, Channel 4
Calum Best, Samantha Fox and Jeff Brazier fight for breath as Janice Dickinson sucks the oxygen out of the room at four consecutive dinner parties. She zeroes in on Calum and vows to make him her human trampoline before week's end. For the first time in history, everyone feels sorry for Calum Best. Sam and Jeff hardly speak. Janice pumps out an unstoppable torrent of words from her fire-hydrant gob while the others cast each other sympathetic looks. Reality show producers, please stop casting her. This woman kills television. JR
Victorian Pharmacy
9pm, BBC2
Hoping to gain a sense of how the Victorians approached everyday health, this experimental project recreates a pharmacy of the time and prescribes 130-year-old solutions to everyday ailments. For a common cold, pharmacists routinely prescribed a tincture made of cannabis and opium, while laudanum was the catch-all cure for everything else. Sadly these are rejected in favour of less controversial pharmaceuticals, so really this is a Victorian pharmacy with a 21st-century morality, which destroys the point of it somewhat. WHShanghai Tales
9pm, BBC4
"Its time for you to lose weight," girls on the cusp of adolescence brutally chide one another, in this insightful documentary focusing on three 11-year-olds in Shanghai Experimental Primary School. On the first day of the spring term, film-makers Ke Dingding and Guo Jing document the struggles and triumphs of the latest generation of Chinese children, as they fight, flirt or, like stubborn boy Gu, attempt to assert their independence, while the teachers pressure them into getting perfect test scores. AC
Undercover Boss
9pm, Channel 4
The chief executive of Best Western hotels, David Clark, goes back to the shop floor to see how his hotels are run. But his identity is a secret. He's "Andy the trainee" being followed by a camera crew. What's the betting at least half of his colleagues think he's The Secret Millionaire and go out of their way to be nice to him? He discovers the usual corner-cutting and staff discontent and goes about remedying the situation with all the alacrity of a man being filmed while trying to show his business in a positive light. The cameras kind of ruin this one. JR
Southland
10pm, More4
This absorbing, LA-set cop drama continues to furnish us with further back story, including Sherman and Cooper swapping notes about their respective abusive fathers, whose behaviour inadvertently caused them to go into law and order in the first place. Among the multiple, Hill Street Blues-type plot strands are a high-profile sports star whose female friends abscond with his car containing his wife's dog in the back, and a warring couple whose violence towards each other is only matched by the vehemence with which they refuse to split up. DSiTunes Festival
10pm, ITV2
It's July, which means that, as in the past few years, Camden's great Roundhouse venue is full of a rather random selection of old and new bands performing for their Apple masters. It's a good deal for the punters as tickets for these gigs are given away gratis in a variety of competitions – most with tough and tricky questions like "What is your email address?" This year we get the xx, Plan B, Underworld, Laura Marling, Foreigner, Phoenix and many, many more, all trying not to annoy Steve Jobs. On telly it's presented by Fearne Cotton and Dave Berry, which proves that nothing is really free in this world. PO'N